You gotta remember who TF you are. We spend so much time letting other factors in our life define who we are. Stop letting somebody else's metrics measure who you are.
Somewhere along the way, you stopped recognizing the person in the mirror. The person you have become is a compilation of who you decided to be to maintain your relationships. Whether it be a career, romantic, familial, or platonic relationships something in you changed to fit in. All change is not bad, however, if the person you have become is exhausting it's time to find yourself again. You are still in there, buried under all the faces you put on so that you can be loved by undeserving people anyway.
I entitled this blog Queen Material because I just had to remind myself what I was made of the other day.
When I graduated High School, I just knew I had it all figured out, pretty solid in who I was. So ambitious, aiming for the stars in spite of any obstacles standing in my way. There’s was nothing I couldn't do, no situation I couldn’t outthink my way out of. I always prided myself in being a dreamer, always having the nerve to after whatever I wanted with a sense of entitlement.
As you can imagine 10 years post-high school life has happened and with all the wear and tear sometimes I wake up in the morning and I don’t know who's looking back at me in the mirror. She‘s a survivor, she gets up every day in spite of everything, continues to go after her dreams; and yet and still, I do not know this woman.
With all the curveballs and rejection my outlook on life changed, my confidence changed. I am literally holding on to any and everything no matter how much it wasn't serving me, because I cannot stomach another loss.
I got up every day and have to tell anxiety to let me have a day.
This is a terrible space to be in and when you are in this space you become fragile and vulnerable. People will try to treat you in ways that are more serving to them and if you do not have the general "know-how" of navigating through people that have you f*cked up, you will find yourself letting someone else take the wheels of your emotions.
One day a dude said to me " I wouldn't do that you..."
Before I could have a full thought I said " I wouldn't let you, I'm queen material"
At that very moment, I remembered who tf i was, the girl that sounds amazing on paper and the one who is worth every bit of energy, time, and money spent. That girl looked back at me in the mirror and said " you are deserving of every demand you make and it's time to remember who TF you are"
This is still a day to day battle with me but here are some tools to jog your memory:
Speak to your childhood self. Matter of fact revisit things that be manifesting in your adulthood. Things from your childhood may be feeding your insecurities.
Speak to those insecurities, denounce them tell yourself what you are not and those insecurities cannot have you.
Speak life, manifest your next steps, the person you want to be, manifest the person you want to recognize.
Recognize and debunk your own patterns, are you putting yourself in a position to lose yourself everytime?
Dismiss negative beliefs about yourself, only you can control how you feel about yourself.
Know your strengths and weaknesses, and be patient with yourself.
Do whatever it takes to find yourself.
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