By definition, disappointment means sadness or displeasure by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations. It is also mentally productive for me to pinpoint my emotions because I struggled with the concept for years. I think this year (2020), I have experienced a great deal of disappointment with the overall state of the world, the pandemic, the murder of George Floyd, and on a personal level.
I typically mind my business, but as I began to embrace my emotions, I become emotionally invested in other people. This has led to me experience disappointment. First and foremost, I want to emphasize how human this is.
You ever feel like you're giving the same advice over and over? You come to the rescue, drop some good supportive gems, and you think you have empowered someone for them to ignore all of it and return to a toxic situation.
For me, my advice is typically coming from situations I went through and came from under. It's like you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but they cannot. It is so frustrating.
First, I think its important to acknowledge that you are feeling disappointed. That tug of frustration, the need to distance yourself is stemming from the feeling of disappointment.
Let me remind you what I had to remind myself, mind your business.
For one is not about you, and second, it's not your lesson to learn. Stop taking it personally. I know there was nothing anybody could say to me to help me feel better or move forward when I was in the thick of my mess. It was a path I had to take alone. The friends, lovers, and family members you have emotionally exhausted yourself with are not listening. They don't want it even when they are asking. Deep down, they know what is right and are already battling internally. People are still going to do what they want to do until they have had enough of whatever they are going through.
Adjust your expectations of others, everyone does not think the same. We are all socially constructed differently. Most importantly, everyone is on their own time frame.
It is imperative to know when you have done all you can do, that is when it is time to let it go.
It is also important to show grace to others while they are in those spaces you've healed from but release your emotional investment. Don't let the mental space someone else is in place you in a state of disappointment. Understand the mental space that they are in, and when you strive for understanding, you can show grace.
Take the time and space that you need to recover. You may need to recharge from your emotional investment. Know your limits. Maintaining boundaries in complex situations is easier said than done.
But let me reiterate, hold your advice, they are not listening.
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