Did You Take Your Pill Today?

Alright so boom,

I had a nervous breakdown back in 2016, previous posts can give you an idea of why. Here I am, the sad one in the family. I kid you not, nobody knew what to do with it. Their talks didn't work, tough love didn't work, nothing. Let's be honest, certain things you cannot pray out of. If you're drowning and the lord sends someone with a boat, you get on that boat.

At my lowest, I decided I had to go into survival mode. Talk therapy was amazing but I needed more than that. I had to see a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists prescribe medications.

whoopty woo, the pill, once a day before bed.

Fast forward, I was able to complete my matriculation at Columbia, I was able to get everything I needed to get done.

The pills comes with it's own little issues like weight gain, lack of overall emotion ( could be a personality trait), feelings of numbness at times. I have a love/hate relationship with them.

The most frustrating woe of them all is when I have a particular issue, that I feel is very valid someone will ask me " Did you take your pill today?"

Bitchhhhhhh Bitch Bitch Bitchhhhhh. Bitch I–

Did you work through your childhood trauma today?

Did you decide to end your toxic relationship today or?

Still not working through your shit today?

How much water have you drunk today?

People have the tendency to try to throw your mental health issues back in your face as a weapon during an argument.

Number one, the pill is not a cure, the healing will come from within. When someone is in a depressive state some symptoms may be too severe to actually benefit from therapy. Psychiatric medications alleviate some symptoms so individuals can manage emotional issues. Crying for weeks on end is not functional honey, for a week straight my diet mostly consisted of tears. Nobody ask any questions about your grandma sugar meds or your grandaddy blood pressure pills, so don't worry about my chemical imbalances.

For me, I think it is an overall dismissal of my feelings in general and causes another thing to work through. I'm depressed not delusional. I am very much all there, just get a lil sad sometimes. Y'all be having mad issues too, just undiagnosed. I am working through and facing my demons head on.

Mental Health is serious and communities of color must acknowledge it, especially because most, if not all of us, are predisposed or directly exposed to trauma. Over 300 years of slavery and continued discrimination, PTSD is plaguing our communities. We can open Instagram and watch our people be lynched, take care of yourself. The systems in place continually miscarry mental health issues and communities of color perpetuate the stigma.

The "be strong" mentality is unmatched. The idea of just letting it be and moving forward can be so toxic. Your parents childhood trauma turned into their dysfunctional personalities, break that cycle. Be honest with yourself.

It is also so important to not just seek help with you hit rock bottom. But consistently take care of yourself, check your mental temperature, seek peace, debunk those distorted thoughts as they come in, set those boundaries, confront who needs to be confronted, change your surroundings.

I promise I leave it all in this blog, it is nothing anybody can hold over me. I'm human, so are you. I am visionary, I can see myself beyond where I currently stand. You have to be willing to do whatever it takes to get where you need to be. I'm always on making anything happen. I'm in control of my healing and one must take control of theirs. I cannot attest for anyone else's story but I know mine.